From der Angstweg to Alexandria

Der Angstweg, or Ahdistuspolku, was half-way opened to the public in July 2017, in Sigvartsby, Hamina, where the library of Alexandria was found again a few years earlier (in January 2013). The path leads to a field nearby, and there one could hear the city church bells ringing. The library has a  collection of cultural and esoteric history, including a few gems. When I began collecting the books in the nineties, I did not know there would be a time when books have become rarities. Now the hour has come, and I am grateful that I continued the work during those lazy days when it seemed like a fool's quest. Alexandria has even received "a donation" from the library of Hamina; a collection of poetry books in Finnish. All the necessary items of cultural history are there to remind us of the past century's crazy or evil undertakings and erratic wanderings, from Hitler's Mein Kampf to Lenin's State and Revolution (in Finnish, among dozens of Marxist classics from the Soviet printing houses), and many things in between. Some hidden treasures balance the horrors; books like Pekka Ervast's Christosophisia peruskysymyksiä I-II and Friedrich Rittelmeyer's letters on Meditation (in Deutsch of course, dating from the times of crisis).

There are memories in the form of dedications, like the late Colin Wilson's The Outsider, eighth impression from 1956, with "warm regards". I met him at the library of Pasila in 2007, and he wondered where on earth did I get that book. And I still wonder, too. Even Aarni Kouta's less known Lusiferin kannel (signed by the maker) and Ristin tie are there. Showing the metamorphosis of a poet and thinker who was trying to get a hold of the higher spiritual truths opening in the darkness and light of the 20th century.

I have obtained a few priceless ones from the Sophia cultural centre in Kallvik, like John Meyendorff's classic Byzantine Theology, with a dedication from the writer himself to the Archbishop Paul of Finland, and other works by the Orthodox Masters. Alexandria is located in a private house, but who knows, it may be open to public some day. And it has been possible to loan books from there, since the very beginning.

Crossville skyline and all the romance

A view from our Kallvik balcony in 2012, hiding more than it reveals. The park hidden behind the trees is called Mustakivenpuisto (Blackstone park), and the sky belongs to Rastila (in English one could say Crossville). But it is a vague reference, because the houses visible are in Kallvik and only the horizon takes the watcher to another kind of X.X.X.X. There is also a meaningful shape drawn on the ground below, unseen to the eye in this picture, but concrete as logic in holy geometry, and referring to something truthful, as well (a triangle, with two open triangles on its sides and a square on top). I came to know what it feels like to be in somebody else's visionary dreams, taken into another individual's consciousness and plans. Ever since, I've been even more careful with my own poetry, and the ones I write about. God knows what's good and right for others.

The title reminds of a duet I like, with Johnny Cash giving a beautifully conservative edge to Bob Dylan's 1960s folk protest ways. I'm an old-timer and my views are like that, in part at least. For I've always been an oppressive kind of guy, too. I'd like to underline it's making the cross heavier. Maybe that's why I like to see them get (along) together, these differing views and times. We are on a forward march, and there is no going back. However, the spirit of truth..... 

"Malta, Valletta, in October 2011. So, there is a right time and a right place for everything. If I had gone to Malta before, I would not have liked it the way I did. Had I gone later, it may not have been the same, either. This was the hour for that place. Maybe there will be another time. But some things will never change. These photos are nothing but stills from the sunshine and the romance of Malta."

"There is a whole story and quite a different reality behind them as well. During the fall of that year I thought I was going to break down. But somehow I didn't. This was not the first time I've been in trouble, but it made it to my all time top three list of 'breakdance'."

"Courage in Malta, with my back against the wall. I stood there in the city built by gentlemen for gentlemen, as Walter Scott so eloquently put it. Churchill said Malta must be kept no matter what. Hitler wanted the island at all cost, but the fortress witheld. I saw Francis Ford Coppola's film Youth without youth just a few weeks before my journey. For blessed Gerard."

The three romantic quotes above were written and published on this very site a long ago, then taken out and now replaced, as time ever flows on and on, in a circle, a line and even beyond itself. Pictures taken by Antti Filppu and Laura Vilva.